Living With Your Own Ideas

My companion: Adrift from independence

For this project, we were asked to create a model that represented a specific feeling or theme. In this case, I chose the feeling of independence because I relate it to my experience of living alone for a long time, away from my family. Although I sometimes consider myself an independent person, I also rely heavily on the people around me and my friends. For example, when I am sick, I need someone to come to my house to take care of me.

I decided to represent my concept of independence through a model that symbolizes a boat. In this boat, I had control and carried my own flag and sail. Additionally, I incorporated an egg carton with four compartments that symbolized the four pillars of a person: the self, family, friends, and partner. My goal with the model was to add weight throughout the day to the compartments where I interacted. For example, if I spent time with my friends, I would place marbles in the friends’ compartment. Similarly, if I dedicated time to myself, I would place marbles in the self-compartment, and so on with the family and partner.

In my experiment, I tried to make the boat float, understanding that independence involves finding a stable balance between self-care and relationships with friends, a partner, and family. However, I noticed that by spending a lot of time with my friends, the space designated for friendship became so full that it started to encroach on other spaces, such as the family space. Also, by placing my friends and “self” on one side of the boat and the partner and family on the other, the boat constantly tipped to the left, given that I do not live with my family and do not have a partner. Over time, the boat sank, not only due to the excess weight and poor distribution of the pillars but also because the corks I had placed at the base to make it float came off. This observation led me to reflect on whether I truly am independent and if my concept of independence is misconstrued, which would imply that my boat sank because I did not build it properly. Maybe I don’t need all the pilars to be independent. To make the boat float you just need balance but it will always tilt, a boat is never still. So independence should be the same, a continous journey of finding balance in your life and drive the boat of life with you as the captain.

Living with Ideas: My exploration

I wanted to experience living without a phone, so I embarked on a 24-hour challenge, abstaining from music, Google Maps, WhatsApp, and the internet. Being part of a tech-savvy generation, I’m accustomed to having the world at my fingertips, and my phone serves as a safety net due to my anxiety. During this period, I identified four primary phone-related needs: listening to music, communicating with others, constant entertainment, and a sense of security in knowing my whereabouts.

The absence of my phone for 24 hours led to a day of silence, allowing me to immerse myself in the world’s subtle sounds. Despite occasional moments of solitude, like my subway rides, I initially longed for the familiar distraction of music or podcasts. Yet, in its absence, I found myself observing those around me, attempting to capture snippets of conversations to fill the void. Surprisingly, the lack of immediate communication with friends and family, which I anticipated to be distressing, didn’t cause as much unease due to the understanding that the challenge was time-limited. Instead of resorting to social media during idle moments, I became obsessed with self-documentation, which became my main source of entertainment.

However, I keenly felt the absence of the security my phone usually provided. Coordinating plans with friends became a challenge, and the inability to ensure their safety or promptly communicate potential delays triggered a sense of unease. The absence of my phone constrained my sense of connection and peace, highlighting its significant role in maintaining a secure link with my surroundings. This experience prompted me to reevaluate my reliance on the phone for safety and connection and made me reflect on the reason why I felt the need to document myself and feel seen, rather than seeking other alternatives for entertainment.

Ways in which things could have been improved or changed:

• If I had left my phone at home instead of carrying it with me all the time, my experience would have been entirely different. Having my phone with me provided a sense of security, knowing that I could use it in case of an emergency.

• The fact of not having to document the experience would have left me without an activity for the day. Without the need to record myself, I would have had to find other forms of entertainment in my daily life.

Reflections

What happens when you use yourself as an instrument? I gained a unique perspective that allowed for a deeper and more personal understanding of the subject. I was able to comprehend, document, and reflect on my own feelings and thoughts since I experienced them physically. This led to new ideas and questions about myself and my behavior without a phone, which wouldn’t have emerged with other types of perspectives and research methods.

Did anything change about your way of working? From now on, whenever I set out to research something, I’m going to start by testing it on myself. I’ve always had a strong interest in sustainability, but trying to live a completely eco-friendly life has been really tough. (I strongly believe that sustainability shouldn’t just rely on people’s efforts.) If I had tried to experiment with these ideas on my own, I would have quickly realized that even though I care about sustainability, I’m not really keen on doing research about it. So, basically, I need to focus on making changes in myself first, pay close attention to my own feelings and needs, and then think about exploring the topic with others.

What does it mean for your future work? Prior to undertaking this project, I held an interest in sustainability and biomaterials. However, during this seminar, I realized that my personal challenge and the subject I wished to investigate should revolve around my mental well-being and my inclination to seek connections through technology. Having completed this seminar, I am now compelled to delve deeper into these topics and conduct research on human identities and their association with contemporary technologies and social media.

After seeing the videos of your design space collective, how does it change your understanding of it, present new opportunities or inspire new possibilities for collaboration? I am interested in delving into my impulse to record myself in the absence of a phone and entertainment. Why did I feel safer on the subway when filming myself? Was it a desire to be noticed, to seek amusement, or to expose others? I am keen on further investigating the influence and human dependency of technology and Surveillance Capitalism, specifically examining how human behavior changes when individuals are aware of being filmed.